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Re: Hitting a woman [message #419583 is a reply to message #419580] Wed, 10 February 2010 03:00 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
reborn is currently offline  reborn
Messages: 3231
Registered: September 2004
Location: uk - london
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I'm of the mind that if someone starts a fight with you, then it should be fine for you to knock them un-conscious, or beat them until they stop/run away. By hitting you, in my book they've let themselves open for a good ass-kicking. In my book, self defense is the least you should be able to exercise, a good old fashioned can of whoop-ass. If that's a female or male is irrelevant.

While this is how I feel on the matter, I wouldn't hit a woman, not because of high moral standing, but because I'd be in so much trouble and it really wont accomplish much.
Women cry and play a better victim, even if a woman hit me, even if she landed several punches, I would still somehow end up being the agrressor. I'm Six foot Seven inches tall, and heavy set, so anyone reviewing the situation will see me as the bad guy. It's unfair and an injustice, but that's the world. Plus, if this was in public and a guy saw you hit her, then he/they would most likely get their hero cape out and beat you silly, despite the woman being the instigator.

If possible, I wouldn't hit a man either. While I feel it might be deserved, it wont get you anywhere but trouble, plus deep down, fighting for me doesn't feel good or right. I'm not frightened to be in a fight, and have been in several in my life, but they don't make me feel good. I feel that pulsing feeling in my wrists and heart, and I don't like it, like I know I'm about to do something that's wrong. It makes me feel like a child again somehow.

The following is a true story, and while not about hitting a woman, I guess is kinda relevant, plus typing this will let me vent in a safe outlet.


At the very beginning of December half of my department went to a work function. This function was for all the service departments of the company, but members of the company didn't attend (all service departments are contractors) for all but those organising it for us.

My departments contract was up for renewal, and the contract manager has been stressing for us to be awesome at everything we do, incase it gives reason for our contract not to be renewed.
There was free food and booze at the evening and some in my department was drinking more than others...

Two guys won a bottle of Barcardi rum in a raffle. They said they didn;t like it, but because they was so drunk already, they poured a wine glass 3/4 full of it, then added red wine to it, and larger too. One of them downed this drink in its entirety in One gulp. This should give you an indication of how drunk they was, and what sort of state they was in. My contract manager was there for all of this on the same table as them (I was on a diff table with people that are not like that).

At the end of the evening we was all leaving. My contract manager left first, and told my boss to keep an eye on the guy that had downed the drink, saying he was pissed and to watch him.
Everyone was getting their coats on and leaving, but the guy that was drinking really badly just sat there looking at the floor.
I went over to him and asked if he was alright. He stood up, and punched me in the face. He drew his arm back and went to hit me again, but I stuck my hand out to stop him. My hand caught his nose and it gave him a nose bleed.

After this, he sort of came to a bit and realised what he had done. He apologised and offered his hand to shake mine.
I shook his hand, but didn't really want to to be honest, I had done nothing to him but was looking out for him.
I ased him why he had hit me, but he just stood there with his bleeding nose looking dumb.
I went and got him some tissues for his nose, and came back within a minute.
When I got back, his mate saw his bloody nose and then started shouting at me "I'll give you a fight you wanna fight, you lanky mean lady, come ont hen you mean lady, i'll fucking do'ya" etc etc.
My boss held him back as did another work mate. I was explaining that it was self defense, but he didn't want to hear it. My boss said it would be better of I walked round the corner out of his site, which I did willingly...

The next day at work I reported this to my manager.

The asked for witness statements and held an investagatory meeting, where I told them exactly what happened, and while the guy did have a bleeding nose, I didn't punch him, I was defending myself from being hit again. And also, that the contract manager, who was obviously aware of the dudes state, just left. Had he not of abandoned his responsibility and instead asked the guy to leave, this would not of happened.

So after the investigation, they decided to take all Three of us through the disciplinary procedure. I wasn't surprised, my compant sucks ass at defending individual employee's, even though I was a victim and reported it as such.

After the disciplinary meeting (glad I had my trade union there with me), I got a final written warning, and was made to feel lucky to not lose my job. Employment law is such, that any violence, even self defense is gross mis-conduct, and you can be sacked for it.

What a fucking disgrace! I've been there for over Ten years, never had a bad note on my file. I go to a work function and some asshole gets pissed out of his face, tries to beat me up for no reason at all other than him being pissed, I try to stop him and get a final written warning for it.
Officially I don't know what the other Two got, but they're still here, so I can only assume they got the same.

I can't believe how I was treated. Although not the same, it kinda makes me feel like that woman who was jailed when reporting a rape.
I got the exact same as the other Two, how shit is that?!
It wasn;t like I though "Oh hey, this dude hit me, so I can knock seven bags of shit out of him!", I just stopped him from hitting me.

I'm going to get my paternity leave rom the company, as that's only a couple of months off, make sure I stay to get my bonus, then get another job. What a load of fucking bullshit. You can't defend yourself without being treated like a criminal. What should I have done, stood there until his fists got tired of punching my face?

I guess my point is that while you may think it's ok, or have soem moral right to punch someone back, it seems that in the eyes of your employer and the law, you don't. You have to be a total victim, and even then, it's probably your own fault somehow.


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