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Re: new totel convertion [message #193993 is a reply to message #193900]

Mon, 27 March 2006 08:24

Mad Ivan
Messages: 513
Registered: February 2003
Location: United Kingdom

Karma:

Colonel

I like the looks of it, however, I think you should update the description a bit:

Quote:

Its is the year 2210 north Korea And china are very technology advance and one day they attack the rest of the world with there lacer cannon ,but some one attacks them to but its doesn't evectthem much. With the rest of the world in crumbles the attack was successful and under rule of Alex chi-ching and his top assassin Drake but a small group of underground freedom fighters form under the name GFJ (Global FREEDOM And Justices) GFJ is is controlled by a council .
who are the council knowone knows who all the peopel in it.
only person who people know is in it is an elite soldier named Ashly and they know that the council is made up of elite soldiers
and is a group of four.

First of all you need a little more background.Imagine you are writing a lesson for a history book.

First, write Causes of the entire conflict, somewhat a Chronology of what happened.I don't mean that you have to write years!Tie what happened within a story.Resistance and Collaboration - explain the GFJ part a bit more.How did it form, what does it do, what technology does it employ?Aftermath - What happened with the entire world after the attack, not just "but some one attacks them to but its doesn't evectthem much".
AND The most important part (!!!) where does your tc tie into the entire story.What part of the story does it involve?The Causes, the Resistance or the Aftermath?Be creative and a bit more specific Smile

Don't take this as an insult, or as being disrespectful toward you. I'm just trying to help with as much as i can Smile

Keep us all updated and don't mind comments, such as Jaspah's.

My LinkedIn profile

[Updated on: Mon, 27 March 2006 08:28]

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[Message index]

		new totel convertion By: volkoller on Sun, 26 March 2006 10:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: Ma1kel on Sun, 26 March 2006 11:07
		Re: new totel convertion By: danpaul88 on Sun, 26 March 2006 11:42
		Re: new totel convertion By: Spice on Sun, 26 March 2006 13:13
		Re: new total conversion By: volkoller on Sun, 26 March 2006 18:34
		Re: new totel convertion By: Jaspah on Sun, 26 March 2006 18:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: FMhalo on Sun, 26 March 2006 18:50
		Re: new totel convertion By: blkhnd112 on Sun, 26 March 2006 21:34
		Re: new total conversion By: volkoller on Sun, 26 March 2006 22:24
		Re: new totel convertion By: Feetseek on Mon, 27 March 2006 01:33
		Re: new totel convertion By: nopol10 on Mon, 27 March 2006 02:26
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 13:11
		Re: new total conversion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 15:58
		Re: new totel convertion By: JeepRubi on Sun, 26 March 2006 20:03
		Re: new totel convertion By: Spice on Sun, 26 March 2006 23:07
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Mon, 27 March 2006 08:24
		Re: new totel convertion By: Renardin6 on Mon, 27 March 2006 09:43
		Re: new totel convertion By: bisen11 on Mon, 27 March 2006 10:04
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Mon, 27 March 2006 10:32
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 16:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 16:16
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Mon, 27 March 2006 16:37
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 16:53
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Mon, 27 March 2006 17:03
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 17:49
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Mon, 27 March 2006 17:56
		Re: new totel convertion By: Jaspah on Mon, 27 March 2006 18:03
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 18:12
		Re: new totel convertion By: Jaspah on Mon, 27 March 2006 18:15
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 18:31
		Re: new totel convertion By: Feetseek on Mon, 27 March 2006 19:00
		Re: new totel convertion By: Jaspah on Mon, 27 March 2006 19:05
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 19:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: terminator 101 on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:10
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:26
		Re: new totel convertion By: Spice on Mon, 27 March 2006 19:07
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 19:46
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:26
		Re: new totel convertion By: Feetseek on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:34
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 20:55
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 21:37
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 22:07
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 22:32
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 22:49
		Re: new totel convertion By: Feetseek on Mon, 27 March 2006 22:51
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Mon, 27 March 2006 23:04
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Mon, 27 March 2006 23:28
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Tue, 28 March 2006 19:15
		Re: new totel convertion By: rc22fires on Wed, 29 March 2006 00:36
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Tue, 28 March 2006 22:07
		Re: new totel convertion By: Ryan3k on Tue, 28 March 2006 22:46
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Wed, 29 March 2006 00:03
		Re: new totel convertion By: bisen11 on Wed, 29 March 2006 19:36
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Thu, 30 March 2006 15:51
		Re: new totel convertion By: bisen11 on Thu, 30 March 2006 16:46
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Thu, 30 March 2006 17:09
		Re: new totel convertion By: GrayWolf on Wed, 29 March 2006 02:49
		Re: new totel convertion By: Spice on Wed, 29 March 2006 02:50
		Re: new totel convertion By: nopol10 on Wed, 29 March 2006 02:54
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Wed, 29 March 2006 05:34
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Wed, 29 March 2006 15:58
		Re: new totel convertion By: Feetseek on Wed, 29 March 2006 19:08
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Wed, 29 March 2006 19:15
		Re: new totel convertion By: Mad Ivan on Wed, 29 March 2006 16:03
		Re: new totel convertion By: JeepRubi on Thu, 30 March 2006 18:06
		Re: new totel convertion By: bisen11 on Thu, 30 March 2006 18:42
		Re: new totel convertion By: Anthrax on Thu, 30 March 2006 19:36
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Thu, 30 March 2006 21:39
		Re: new total convesion By: GEORGE ZIMMER on Fri, 31 March 2006 08:21
		Re: new total convesion By: volkoller on Fri, 31 March 2006 15:46
		Re: new totel convertion By: JeepRubi on Fri, 31 March 2006 16:42
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Fri, 31 March 2006 18:22
		Re: new totel convertion By: sfr3f on Fri, 31 March 2006 18:29
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Fri, 31 March 2006 20:04
		Re: new totel convertion By: Coolrock on Fri, 31 March 2006 23:42
		Re: new totel convertion By: Ma1kel on Sat, 01 April 2006 03:00
		Re: new totel convertion By: volkoller on Sat, 01 April 2006 14:53

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