| Re: Kerry is a saint? [message #113599] |
Wed, 08 September 2004 18:25   |
cokemaster
Messages: 144
Registered: April 2003
Karma:
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| Aircraftkiller |
John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign advance manager made a visit to the Cardinal and made him an offer:
"Here's our situation, we've been getting a lot of well-deserved, but nonetheless bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's abominable position on abortion and the like. We need to deflect attention from the fact he has even been denied communion, so we'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon this Sunday, you'd say John Kerry is a saint."
The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.
Kerry shows up at the service grinning like a Cheshire cat and high fiving everyone in sight.
As the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily:
"John Kerry is petty, a self-absorbed hypocritical megalomaniac, and a nit-wit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But keep in mind, compared to that blithering alcoholic, philandering idiot Ted Kennedy, you might erroneously think that John Kerry is a Saint." Amen.
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Afterwards Kerry returns with only $20,000 dollars and the Cardinal shouts "Wait, you said you would pay $100,000!" Kerry replied with " You didn't say that I served in Vietnam, so its only 20% of $100,000 now".
Remember, Friends don't let friends play Reborn!
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