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Re: The problem with JohnDoe [message #412141 is a reply to message #412101] Wed, 25 November 2009 05:45 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Spoony is currently offline  Spoony
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raven wrote on Tue, 24 November 2009 22:46

That's too big of a subject to get into here so let me instead discuss how a great many of us don't want Spoony to declare martial law, suspend elections, and round up dissidents

well that's just tough shit for you isn't it

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he wants all of us to believe that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. That's why he sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.

Damn right.

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Stated differently, he alleges that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. Naturally, this is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Don't quote Shakespeare at me.

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Spoony's salacious views are meticulously designed to keep the population unaware, uneducated, dumbed down, and focused on stupefying activities like video games. The intention is to prevent people from noticing that Spoony has been causing riots in the streets.

You can't prove that.

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They can be so subtle that many people never realize they're being influenced by them. That's why we must proactively notify humanity that no one has a higher opinion of Spoony than I, and I think Spoony is a mad, noxious long-haired hippie.

I object to the insinuation that I have long hair.

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I do, however, unequivocally claim that every time Spoony utters or writes a statement that supports lexiphanicism—even indirectly—it sends a message that the best way to make a point is with foaming-at-the-mouth rhetoric and letters filled primarily with exclamation points.

Well DUH.

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I honestly aver that we mustn't let him make such statements, partly because it must be nice to live in his little world, where the sun shines, the birds chirp merrily, and reality never rears its ugly head, but primarily because I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke him for trying to devastate vast acres of precious farmland.

here I must protest - that was hitman.

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While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, Spoony's idea of addressing a problem is not to fix the problem but to establish a task force, council, or commission to look into it, study it, dissect it, and finally talk it to death. But you knew that already.

Touché.

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But when Spoony is safely surrounded by his followers, he instructs them to deprive individuals of the right to shed the light of truth on the evil that is Spoony. That type of cunning two-sidedness tells us that if Spoony's worshippers had even an ounce of integrity they would tackle the multinational death machine that Spoony is currently constructing.

You're becoming a nuisance!

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If Spoony hadn't been leading to the destruction of the human race, it simply would not have occurred to me to write the letter you now are reading. Why, I might have taken the day off altogether. Or maybe I would have been out arguing about Spoony's tractates. In any case, I want to unify our community. Spoony, in contrast, wants to drive divisive ideological wedges through it.

You've only just figured that out?

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let me corroborate it by saying that when I was a child my clergyman told me, "We must coolly and objectively adopt the standpoint that what we need from Spoony is fewer monologues and more dialogue." If you think about it you'll see his point.

In fact, I have statistics that show people want more monologues.

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Spoony has, at times, called me "deluded" or "thrasonical". Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful. Having already explained that we have not only a right but also a responsibility to take the lemons that he's handing us and make lemonade, let me now state that he should stop calling me a crazy thief.

Why the hell should I? You are a crazy thief. Deny it all you like, but it's on film.

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Although I've been called worse things by better people, "Spoony" has now become part of my vocabulary. Whenever I see someone insulting my intelligence, I tell him or her to stop "Spoony-ing".

I take that as a compliment.

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But then he turns around and says that he can bring about peace and prosperity for the whole of humanity through violence, deception, oppression, exploitation, graft, and theft.

I draw the line at graft.

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Well, I suppose he's also good at convincing people that he holds a universal license that allows him to add insult to injury, but my point is that Spoony likes saying that we can all live together happily without laws, like the members of some 1960s-style dope-smoking commune.

Now you're being silly.

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Basically, I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Spoony still has the ability to force onto us the degradation and ignominy that he is known to revel in.

It's for your own good.

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Spoony is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks.

I object to that, I'm pretty good with an MRLS too.

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His anecdotes are as predictable as sunrise.

And as warming and enlightening!

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The interesting thing is that he has stated that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. I find such declaratory statements quite telling.

That's the point!

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Spoony says that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape and that therefore we have too much freedom. Hello? Is Mr. Logic down at the pub with a dozen pints inside him or what?

Pffft. Ok buddy, you show me one woman who DOESN'T fit that description.

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Spoony's comments are designed to burn our fair cities to the ground. And they're working; they're having the desired effect. Unsettling as that is, the more infuriating fact is that I realize that some people may have trouble reading this letter.

Condescend all you like!

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Spoony's fairy tales may not be traditional for an impulsive present-day robber baron, but what Spoony is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly unsophisticated activity.

I'm not unsophisticated.

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It strikes me as amusing that Spoony complains about people who do nothing but complain. Well, news flash! He does nothing but complain.

You've got me there.

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Spoony's hariolations are merely a stalking horse. They mask his secret intention to use both overt and covert deceptions to blacklist his enemies as terrorist sympathizers or traitors.

Sorry, covert?

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I despise his complete obliviousness to the fact that his memoirs promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Spoony's lackeys because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Spoony.

...so?

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I don't want to have to write another letter a few years from now, in the wake of a society torn apart by Spoony's pushy philosophies, reminding you that you were warned.

don't worry, you won't be around to see the day. life is short.

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Renedrama [ren-i-drah-muh]
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1. the inevitable criticism one receives after doing something awful

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