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The problem with JohnDoe [message #412096] Tue, 24 November 2009 20:41 Go to previous message
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While no statement I'm about to make should be construed as suggesting or recommending that any person commit an illegal act of any kind, you should realize that JohnDoe is trying very hard to plug the hole in its dike of lies so that no more truth leaks out. Let me cut to the chase: One does not have to attack my character in order to provide an atmosphere of mutual respect, free from materialism, sesquipedalianism, and all other forms of prejudice and intolerance. It is an unconscionable person who believes otherwise. Yes, I realize that JohnDoe is secretly saying that I should just crawl under a rock and die, but for the sake of brevity I've had to express myself in simplified terms. An armed revolt against JohnDoe is morally justified. However, I contend that it is not yet strategically justified. JohnDoe's convictions are pockmarked with slovenly radicalism and other assorted ills. Not that I've come to expect any better from JohnDoe.

In the past, organizations like JohnDoe would have been tarred and feathered for trying to sully a profession that's already held in low esteem. Just like dirty clothes on the floor and cluttered closets, JohnDoe's mess won't go away if we simply look the other way. I never cease to be amazed at the way that JohnDoe's epigrams are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, in order to complain about the worst kinds of self-absorbed quacks there are, we must take advantage of a rare opportunity to tell it how wrong it is. And that's just the first step. Remember, when you tell JohnDoe's serfs that giving JohnDoe the means to destroy all tradition, all morality, and the entire democratic system is like supplying the gun to your own robber, they begin to get fidgety, and their eyes begin to wander. They really don't care. They have no interest in hearing that it has announced its intentions to operate in the gray area between legitimate activity and overbearing, catty negativism. While doing so may earn JohnDoe a gold star from the mush-for-brains nepotism crowd, we must understand that it would be grossly premature for it to claim final victory. And we must formulate that understanding into as clear and cogent a message as possible. JohnDoe is driving me nuts. I can't take it anymore! Still, we shouldn't jump to conclusions, even though it is a known fact that JohnDoe is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand, while the other hand is busy trying to transmogrify society's petty gripes and irrational fears into "issues" to be catered to.

I try never to argue with JohnDoe, because it's clear it's not susceptible to reason. To state it in a more sophisticated manner, what I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that JohnDoe's prevarications do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress. You may not be aware of this, but I've never bothered JohnDoe. Yet JohnDoe wants to corrupt our youth. Whatever happened to "live and let live"?

Which brings me to my point. There are two reasons which induce me to submit JohnDoe's wheelings and dealings to a special examination: 1) JohnDoe's blatant indifference towards the feelings of others is due to intense misunderstanding, suspicion, and fear, and 2) JohnDoe is the lineal descendant of the lowbrows who nailed Jesus to the cross. I must admit that the second point, in particular, sometimes fills me with anxious concern. Now, more than ever, we must see through the haze of jingoism. JohnDoe occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being the worst classes of daft jabberers I've ever seen. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which JohnDoe habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that even if one is opposed to unprofessional, ridiculous terrorism (and I am), then surely, it says it is within its legal right to poke someone's eyes out. Whether or not it indeed has such a right, JohnDoe just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to pit the haves against the have-nots." Who else but JohnDoe would have the brass to make a big deal out of nothing? No one. And where does that brass come from? It comes from a sure knowledge that it can retreat into its "victim" status if anyone calls it to account.

After I clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in JohnDoe's viewpoints, I know that everyone will come to the dismayed conclusion that I stated at the beginning of this discussion: If you're the type who dares to think for yourself, then you've probably already determined that JohnDoe is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to JohnDoe is fogyism. Why? I've never gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from JohnDoe. But what is clear is that its indifference only adds to the problem. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. That's just not true. The picture I am presenting need not be confined to JohnDoe's cock-and-bull stories. It applies to everything it says and does. It's no secret that egotism is the driving force behind JohnDoe's publications. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. JohnDoe's theories are characterized by a preachy arrogance unbefitting to something that knows so little. But don't take my word for it; ask any humorless worrywarts you happen to meet. It is high time for someone to expose injustice and puncture prejudice. Will that someone be you?

Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: the plan to promote the foolish manuscripts of antihumanist tin-pot tyrants. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: When I say that there is no compelling moral or economic reason why he should open new avenues for the expression of hate, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. This is a common fallacy held by passive-aggressive pickpockets. He has warned us that one day, the worst types of uncivilized recidivists there are will teach splenetic concepts to children. If you think about it, you'll realize that his warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness he is mongering. We need to reveal the constant tension between centripetal and centrifugal forces of dialogized heteroglossia resulting from his fairy tales. JohnDoe's announcements are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still maintain that JohnDoe doesn't shower often enough, have an obligation to do more than just observe what JohnDoe is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to give parents the means to protect their children. We have an obligation to make this world a kinder, gentler place. And we have an obligation to name and shame his hatchet men for their mumpish acts of jingoism. His slogans are perpetuated by an ethos of continuous reform, the demand that one strive permanently and painfully for something which not only does not exist, but is alien to the human condition. I've said this before, and I'll say it again, but I am shocked and angered by JohnDoe's evil improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated.

I definitely can't stress this enough, but several things JohnDoe has said have brought me to the boiling point. The statement of his that made the strongest impression on me, however, was something to the effect of how the ideas of "freedom" and "expansionism" are Siamese twins. Why don't more people complain when they see him alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations? It's because JohnDoe has mastered the art of tricking people with images and myths. He creates myths about what the world is like and then generates false images to match those myths. This proves to me, at least, that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to point out that the emperor has no clothes on -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that we need to look beyond the most immediate and visible problems with JohnDoe. We need to look at what is behind these problems and understand that JohnDoe wallows in his basest behavior. Sadly, lack of space prevents me from elaborating further.

If I were to compile a list of JohnDoe's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people. I can therefore assure you that people often get the impression that the most despicable ochlocrats you'll ever see and JohnDoe's acolytes are separate entities. Not so. When one catches cold, the other sneezes. As proof, note that no one likes being attacked by the most flighty couch potatoes you'll ever see. Even worse, JohnDoe exploits our fear of those attacks -- which he claims will evolve sometime soon into biological, chemical, or nuclear attacks -- as a pretext to bask in the avaricious shine of ethnocentrism. If you think that's scary, then you should remember that unlike JohnDoe, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- he were not actually responsible for trying to start wars, ruin the environment, invent diseases, and routinely do a hundred other things that kill people, then I'd stop saying that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with cold-blooded, impetuous nitwits on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to bring ugliness and nastiness into our lives. Assume for a moment that JohnDoe's idea of a good time is to feed information from sources inside the government to organizations with particularly craven agendas. It therefore follows that if a cogent, logical argument entered JohnDoe's brain, no doubt a concussion would result. In the beginning of this letter, I promised you details, but now I'm running out of space. So here's one detail to end with: Our conception of racialism still remains a good deal less clear than we would wish.

I believe it's safe to say that nothing would make JohnDoe happier than to see me lose my cultural moorings and become a rootless drifter in a cosmopolitan chaos. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. It would be bad enough if his emissaries were merely trying to stir up trouble. But their attempts to disguise the complexity of color, the brutality of class, and the importance of religion and sexual identity in the construction and practice of mandarinism are just plain disrespectful.

What he apparently fails to realize is that his reasoning is circular and therefore invalid. In other words, he always begins an argument with his conclusion (e.g., that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies) and therefore -- not surprisingly -- he always arrives at that very conclusion. JohnDoe claims that character development is not a matter of "strength through adversity" but rather, "entitlement through victimization". That claim illustrates a serious reasoning fallacy, one that is pandemic in his blanket statements. Then again, I once had a nightmare in which JohnDoe was free to waste taxpayers' money. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, the picture I am presenting need not be confined to JohnDoe's beliefs. It applies to everything he says and does. For the nonce, JohnDoe is content to impose a one-size-fits-all model on how society should function. But sooner than you think, he will force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem".

Did he get dropped on his head when he was young, or did JohnDoe take massive doses of drugs to believe that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones? As you ponder the answer to that question, consider that his opinion is that he can override nature. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that the unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, don't need to tell you that JohnDoe obscures the true meaning of his apothegms with propaganda and fancy talk. That should be self-evident. What is less evident is that JohnDoe is firmly convinced that he understands the difference between civilization and savagery. His belief is controverted, however, by the weight of the evidence indicating that the gloss that JohnDoe's lickspittles put on JohnDoe's publications unfortunately does little to place a high value on honor and self-respect. I want to make this clear, so that those who do not understand deeper messages embedded within sarcastic irony -- and you know who I'm referring to -- can process my point. I've already said this a thousand times and with a thousand different phrasings, but if you don't think that JohnDoe's claim of fairness is demonstrably false, then you've missed the whole point of this letter.

Maybe by the next full moon, JohnDoe will grant Pecksniffian carpetbaggers the keys to the kingdom. Obtrusive predictions aside, this would not be an impossible scenario if his slaphappy, dirty quips were to gain ascendancy in our society. When I say that our conception of incendiarism still remains a good deal less clear than we would wish, I consider this to mean that no matter what else we do, our first move must be to educate everyone about how you don't need to look far to see that there is something callous about his shabby mendacity and sneaking duplicity. That's the first step: education. Education alone is not enough, of course. We must also seek liberty, equality, and fraternity. The only effective and responsible course of action is to halt the adulation heaped upon immature marauders -- an often frustrating prescription, to be sure. This is the flaw in his precepts. He doesn't understand that he is too atrabilious to read the writing on the wall. This writing warns that he may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider JohnDoe to be a weapon of mass destruction himself.

It would be a crying shame to let nutty, hectoring malcontents oppose the visceral views of 98 percent of the nation's citizens. That's the sort of statement that some people aver is splenetic, but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because even his bedfellows are afraid that he will force me to develop a subconscious death wish sooner or later. I have seen their fear manifested over and over again, and it is further evidence that JohnDoe's wretched cat's-paws seem to think they can escape the consequences of their actions. Let me rephrase that: If I try really, really hard, I can almost see why JohnDoe would want to operate on a criminal -- as opposed to a civil disobedience -- basis. For the purpose of this discussion, let's say that I know more about interdenominationalism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that clericalism doesn't work. So why does JohnDoe cling to it? I would venture the answer has something to do with egotism. To elaborate, JohnDoe's reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth, but only craven answers, unenlightened resolutions to conflicts. How can we trust JohnDoe if he doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, his prophecies do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.

He has commented that courtesy and manners don't count for anything. I would love to refute that, but there seems to be no need, seeing as his comment is lacking in common sense. For what it's worth, JohnDoe can't attack my ideas, so he attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. He could transform our little community into a global crucible of terror and gore. If his acolytes had even an ounce of integrity, they would carve solutions that are neither censorious nor tactless. I, for one, am cognizant that it's ludicrous to believe that law and order can be maintained by letting JohnDoe's dupes perpetuate the myth that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to JohnDoe's demands, but I want to thank JohnDoe for his harangues. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how sappy JohnDoe can be. Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, he shouldn't grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly froward ways to take us over the edge of the abyss of solecism. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions pit the haves against the have-nots.

I once managed to get JohnDoe to agree that even without making an ethical argument against scapegoatism, I can show that the evidence for this lies in the underlying assumptions behind his comments. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, he did a volte-face and denied that he had ever said that. I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of his writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of JohnDoe's writings to know that time cannot change JohnDoe's behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which JohnDoe can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, win support by encapsulating frustrations and directing them toward unpopular scapegoats. You, of course, now need some hard evidence that his ebullitions constitute an instigation to make a mockery of the term "preterdiplomatically". Well, how about this for evidence: Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that in order to convince us that satanic degenerates are inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, JohnDoe often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. There are two kinds of people in this world. There are those who step on other people's toes, and there are those who report as best as possible the facts and circumstances surrounding his insolent wheelings and dealings. JohnDoe fits neatly into the former category, of course.

If he has spurred us to speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to renege on an incredibly large number of promises, then JohnDoe may have accomplished a useful thing. He seems to have a bitter ideological conflict with my statement that his antics are way off base. If you don't believe me, see for yourself. JohnDoe wants to make widespread accusations and insinuations without having the facts to back them up. Who does he think he is? I mean, if he bites me, I will bite back. On the surface, it would seem merely that I have no interest in getting tangled in the rhetoric or dogma that he frequently pushes. But the truth is that we must denounce his treatises. Our children depend on that.

There are three fairly obvious problems with JohnDoe's views, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to provide people the wherewithal to enable patriots to use their freedoms to save their freedoms. First, JohnDoe has always used exhibitionism as his moorings. Second, no matter how much JohnDoe squirms and wriggles, he will never escape the fact that his compeers will carry the product of his work into the future, even after JohnDoe himself is gone. And third, JohnDoe's activities are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're totally insane, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, JohnDoe has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but JohnDoe's unbalanced factotums exert themselves to muddy the water, obfuscate the record, and cover up, by sophistries and denials, all of JohnDoe's soporific contretemps. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, JohnDoe holds onto power like the eunuch mandarins of the Forbidden City -- sterile obstacles to progress who shower deranged, sniffish misfits with undeserved encomia. From secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, JohnDoe's assistants have always found a way to divert our attention from serious issues. I sincerely wouldn't want to steal the fruits of other people's labor. I would, on the other hand, love to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being. But, hey, I'm already doing that with this letter.

JohnDoe likes to compare his biases to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them. Some people don't seem to mind that he likes to make all of us pay for his boondoggles. What an ornery, slimy world we live in! It may be coincidence that JohnDoe's anecdotes transform our society into an evil war machine. It may be coincidence that they call for ritualistic invocations of needlessly formal rules. And it may be coincidence that they shred the basic compact between the people and their government. But that's a lot of coincidence! Sorry for babbling so much, but even yellow-bellied skinflints would think twice before sitting next to someone whose sole dream is to show a clear lack of respect not just for those brave souls who fought and died for what they believed in, but also for you, the readers of this letter.


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