| OT: Joke [message #29979] |
Fri, 11 July 2003 16:34  |
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K9Trooper
Messages: 821
Registered: February 2003
Karma: 0
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Colonel |
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Thought you guys may like this....
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."
She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. And you're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met,
but somehow now it's MY fault!"
R.I.P. TreyD. You will be missed, but not forgotten.
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| OT: Joke [message #29985] |
Fri, 11 July 2003 17:00  |
John Shaft Jr.
Messages: 509
Registered: February 2003
Location: Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A.
Karma: 0
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Colonel |
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Thats a alright joke. I got one though.
During a joint exercise between American, British, and Australian
forces, the three commanders get into an argument, naturally, about
whose forces are best.
The American General says, "My men are the best because they are so brave. PRIVATE!" A young Private comes over, salutes, and stands at attention. The American General says, "Boy, you see that tank coming down the road? I want you to stand infront of it and get run over." The Private nods and stands in the road. SQUISH! He gets run over.
The British General shakes his head and says, "Nah, that's nothing. PRIVATE!" A young Private comes over, salutes, and stands at attention. The British General says, "Lad, you see that plane over there? Go get in it, go up to 10,000 feet, and jump out. Without a parachute." The private nods and gets in the plane. SPLAT! All over the ground.
The Australian General laughs and says, "No, no, no, that's nothing. watch. PRIVATE!" A young Private comes over, salutes, and stands at attention. The Australian General says, "Mate, see that cliff over there? I want you to go jump off it." The Private shakes his head and says, "Ah, fuck you, sir!" The Australian looks at the others and goes, "See? Now that's brave!"
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| OT: Joke [message #30053] |
Sat, 12 July 2003 08:56 |
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asdfg195
Messages: 80
Registered: May 2003
Location: here...or am i?
Karma: 0
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Recruit |
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The 7 dwarfs get on a bus and start to feel sleepy so he got off.
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