| Segata Sanshiro: A True God Among Men [message #216597] |
Thu, 31 August 2006 22:04  |
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bigejoe14
Messages: 1302
Registered: February 2003
Karma:
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General (1 Star) |
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Ladies and Gentelmen, boys and girls, today I have the pleasure of introducing you to this man:
Segata Sanshiro
"Why is this man so special?" you may ask. It's really quite simple. This man is responsible for marketing and advertising the Sega Saturn in Japan. Dosen't sound all that special, right? Well look at it this way. He advertised the system in a way that if you were not playing the Sega Saturn at any given time, he would come to you personally and kick your ass. He would find you and crush you like the pathetic worm that you are, leaving a Sega Saturn by your smashed and barely living corpse. If it was necessary, he would even kill you by means of simply throwing you and making you explode into a gigantic ball of flame, all because you did not play the Sega Saturn.
I give to you some samplings of this mans life long mission:
-His most minor punishment
-Not even pop culture stands in his way
-A fitting death for a non-Sega Saturn player
-Segata don't mess around when it's time for the Holidays
-Segata shows us that ice skates are for pussies
-Segatas daily training regiment
As the consoles life span drew to an end, unfortunately, so did our great hero Segata Sanshiro's. He shall be rememberd forever for saving Sega Corporate Headquarters from a missle, using himself as the target. He gave his life so that gamers around the world would have a true hero to look at when looking back upon the golden age of video games.
It is your civic duty as a human being to bear witness to this mans great mission of truly Biblical proportions.
WHATEVER, FAGGOT
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