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My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113760] Thu, 09 September 2004 19:43 Go to next message
prox is currently offline  prox
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Colonel
Before renguard was released, I had everything. I had the looks, the chicks, the money, the confidence, everything a guy could ask for (and when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING, including a monster sized penis.)

I had no idea how soon everything would rip appart in a New York minute. This dream world I was living in, collapsed, it was all gone. It wasn't me, I hadn't changed at all. It was renguard. I don't remember the exact date. I do remember the day. It was a bright, fresh spring weekend. I woke up to the scent of sweet, hot chocolate, and headed straight for my computer.

I turned on my computer and signed on MSN and was greeted with a very happy "LIEK OGM RENGUARDS OUT W00T http://WWW.RENGUARD.COM WEEEE." I thought this was good news, and headed straight for the download. I was wrong. Unaware of what was about to happen, I installed renguard and headed straight for a public server. I must have played around two games before I got bored and decided to shower and appreciate the sunlight.

As soon as I stepped outside, I noticed something. Someone had trashed my car. The doors were torn apart, the engine was missing, there was cum on the backseat (although that might've been mine from the night before,) and there was a note ducktaped to what was left of the windshield. It read "FUCK YOU RENGUARDED PUSSY." I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe it, this was horrible. As soon as I got a hold of myself, I called my girlfriend...but I shouldn't have. When she answered, she was moaning... I asked her what was happening, and someone snatched the phone from her. It was my best friend, with her, in her appartment, doing dirty stuff. This couldn't be happening. I took two deep breaths and told myself "calm down, you are PROX, just walk around a little bit and you'll find a new girl." So I did.

Everyone was looking at me like if I was a freak. Hell, that short, skinny kid with glasses was taking all the girls I managed to talk to. The ones that didn't say I had a small penis. The ones that didn't know how "renguarded" I actually was...

Its almost been 5 months since I downloaded renguard now. Now I'm single, alone, with no car, and the people I cosidered friends turned their backs on me after they found out about the renguard incident. Today, I went to get the groceries, and these two really hot chicks were checking me out. Needless to say, I walked up and started talking to them, soon we were flirting. We must've talked for about 2 hours and these chicks were really diggin' my style. Then, they popped the big question... "is it true the word that's been out on the streets...Are you really...renguarded?" I couldn't lie. I couldn't get myself to. I thought they'd appreciate my honesty. Instead, they laughed at me, they said I had a small penis, no friends, and no life. Then they walked away.

Right now, I find myself in a really hard position. I don't know if I should continue to use renguard and do the right thing. Or uninstall it and get my perfect life back. My MSN buddy list is all the friends I have left in this sorry world. They, my only friends, think I should keep renguard. I was talking to my favorite Brittish man earlier....

prox says:
renguard made me gay
Will says:
LIES
Will says:
you were gay WAAAYYY before renguard came out
prox says:
bs
prox says:
ever since i''ve been renguarded
prox says:
i cant get any girls
Will says:
i know the feelin
prox says:
and i seem to find guys sexy
Will says:
i walk into a bar and girls look at me and think, lol what a jerk, hes never cheated in his life
prox says:
this is bs
prox says:
i was talkin to this two hot chicks today
prox says:
after so many months
prox says:
i was flirtin
prox says:
i was feelin good
prox says:
and then they popped the big question
prox says:
"do u use renguard?"
prox says:
i couldnt lie
prox says:
i thought they'd appreciate my honesty
prox says:
they told me i had a small penis and walked away
Will says:
well
Will says:
i thought they would appreciate the fact that ur mature and want to use "protection"
prox says:
these girls now a days dont appreciate protection
prox says:
cheating is hip
prox says:
what do u think
prox says:
should i uninstall renguard and get my life back?
Will says:
NO
Will says:
DONT GIVE IN

I don't know what I should do. My life is ruined. Renguard has ruined my life.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113761] Thu, 09 September 2004 19:52 Go to previous messageGo to next message
spoonyrat is currently offline  spoonyrat
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ahhhh man, that's awesome Very Happy
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113763] Thu, 09 September 2004 20:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Aircraftkiller is currently offline  Aircraftkiller
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That's a sad, sad story Prox. Sad I have good news, though.

I just saved 15% or more on car insurance by switching to RenGuard.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113764] Thu, 09 September 2004 21:19 Go to previous messageGo to next message
c0nFuZ0r is currently offline  c0nFuZ0r
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^ LOL Laughing
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113765] Thu, 09 September 2004 21:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
spoonyrat is currently offline  spoonyrat
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Aircraftkiller

I just saved 15% or more on car insurance by switching to RenGuard.

IT'S A TRICK
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113768] Thu, 09 September 2004 22:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Xtrm2Matt is currently offline  Xtrm2Matt
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A little too much information in that story, but w/e.

http://www.OpticalGaming.com/matt/signature.jpg
http://www.OpticalGaming.com || irc.OpticalGaming.com
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113771] Fri, 10 September 2004 00:32 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NHJ BV is currently offline  NHJ BV
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Is it true that Renguard induces early baldness?
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113776] Fri, 10 September 2004 01:46 Go to previous messageGo to next message
[HLOW]Tomten is currently offline  [HLOW]Tomten
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wow, this was a waste of time to read.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113783] Fri, 10 September 2004 05:08 Go to previous messageGo to next message
England is currently offline  England
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Very Happy :thumbsup:

Good Read.


In the end it doesn't matter if you are who you say you are. You will still mean nothing to me.

When i have kids, everytime i drive past a fast food restaurant, im gonna punch my kid in the face, then they'll never wanna come..
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113788] Fri, 10 September 2004 05:41 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cheesesoda is currently offline  cheesesoda
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[HLOW

Tomten]wow, this was a waste of time to read.

So was your post.

Good story...weird, but good. Smile


whoa.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113789] Fri, 10 September 2004 05:44 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dethdeath is currently offline  Dethdeath
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It's all so true Crying or Very Sad
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113790] Fri, 10 September 2004 05:55 Go to previous messageGo to next message
[HLOW]Tomten is currently offline  [HLOW]Tomten
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j_ball430

[HLOW

Tomten]wow, this was a waste of time to read.

So was your post.

Good story...weird, but good. Smile



And yours :rolleyes:
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113791] Fri, 10 September 2004 06:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cheesesoda is currently offline  cheesesoda
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[HLOW

Tomten]
j_ball430

[HLOW

Tomten]wow, this was a waste of time to read.

So was your post.

Good story...weird, but good. Smile



And yours :rolleyes:

You didn't have to read it, now did you?

Edit: Now before this starts to turn into any sort of childish flame war...let's keep on topic.


whoa.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113798] Fri, 10 September 2004 07:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
prox is currently offline  prox
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Very Happy
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113809] Fri, 10 September 2004 10:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
IceSword7
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http://www.n00bstories.com/image.fetch.php?id=1124183339

GG
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113814] Fri, 10 September 2004 10:33 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cheesesoda is currently offline  cheesesoda
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I remember that. I think he was wrongly accused or something...if my memory serves me correctly.

whoa.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113815] Fri, 10 September 2004 10:39 Go to previous messageGo to next message
prox is currently offline  prox
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It was a missunderstanding. Ice post the whole topic and not just a SS Mad Razz Razz
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113817] Fri, 10 September 2004 10:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Dethdeath is currently offline  Dethdeath
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xC4pRoX

It was a missunderstanding.
Well, even if it wasn't, I'd understand why after reading this topic Razz
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113830] Fri, 10 September 2004 11:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Creed3020 is currently offline  Creed3020
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That was a great read...Made my day....lol Very Happy Shocked Very Happy
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113846] Fri, 10 September 2004 13:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NukeIt15 is currently offline  NukeIt15
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Colonel
That's funny. That's pretty damn funny. Now, for more important...

*loses his compsure and falls off the chair laughing*

Very Happy Very Happy


"Arms discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property. Horrid mischief would ensue were (the law-abiding) deprived of the use of them." - Thomas Paine

Remember, kids: illiteracy is cool. If you took the time to read this, you are clearly a loser who will never get laid. You've been warned.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113862] Fri, 10 September 2004 13:38 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Blazer is currently offline  Blazer
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I commend prox on sticking with renguard after having so much trouble with it. His computer had a virus which made renguard keep reinstalling itself (RG detects if it is modified in any way). He had many problems and blamed RG until he discovered that he had a virus that was infecting everything on his computer. We didn't let him give up and as a result his computer is now virus free, and he has RG working....yay Smile
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113870] Fri, 10 September 2004 14:50 Go to previous messageGo to next message
prox is currently offline  prox
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Aircraftkiller

That's a sad, sad story Prox. Sad I have good news, though.

I just saved 15% or more on car insurance by switching to RenGuard.


Thanks to RenGuard I no longer have a car to insure.
My life- Before and after renguard. [message #113882] Fri, 10 September 2004 15:50 Go to previous message
MilkyLep is currently offline  MilkyLep
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It's not cool to make fun of others :huh:

Bravo


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