| Kerry is a saint? [message #113539] |
Wed, 08 September 2004 13:04  |
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Aircraftkiller
Messages: 8213
Registered: February 2003
Karma: 0
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General (5 Stars) |
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John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign advance manager made a visit to the Cardinal and made him an offer:
"Here's our situation, we've been getting a lot of well-deserved, but nonetheless bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's abominable position on abortion and the like. We need to deflect attention from the fact he has even been denied communion, so we'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon this Sunday, you'd say John Kerry is a saint."
The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.
Kerry shows up at the service grinning like a Cheshire cat and high fiving everyone in sight.
As the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily:
"John Kerry is petty, a self-absorbed hypocritical megalomaniac, and a nit-wit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But keep in mind, compared to that blithering alcoholic, philandering idiot Ted Kennedy, you might erroneously think that John Kerry is a Saint." Amen.
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| Kerry is a saint? [message #113570] |
Wed, 08 September 2004 15:45  |
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Crimson
Messages: 7429
Registered: February 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Karma: 0
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General (5 Stars)
ADMINISTRATOR |
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You should add MURDERER to Teddy Kennedy's record...
I'm the bawss.
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| Re: Kerry is a saint? [message #113599] |
Wed, 08 September 2004 18:25 |
cokemaster
Messages: 144
Registered: April 2003
Karma: 0
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Recruit |
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| Aircraftkiller |
John Kerry was scheduled to visit the Catholic National Cathedral outside Washington as part of his campaign. Kerry's campaign advance manager made a visit to the Cardinal and made him an offer:
"Here's our situation, we've been getting a lot of well-deserved, but nonetheless bad publicity among Catholics because of Kerry's abominable position on abortion and the like. We need to deflect attention from the fact he has even been denied communion, so we'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon this Sunday, you'd say John Kerry is a saint."
The Cardinal thinks it over for a moment and agrees to do it.
Kerry shows up at the service grinning like a Cheshire cat and high fiving everyone in sight.
As the Mass progresses the Cardinal begins his homily:
"John Kerry is petty, a self-absorbed hypocritical megalomaniac, and a nit-wit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a thief. He is the worst example of a Catholic I've ever personally known. But keep in mind, compared to that blithering alcoholic, philandering idiot Ted Kennedy, you might erroneously think that John Kerry is a Saint." Amen.
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Afterwards Kerry returns with only $20,000 dollars and the Cardinal shouts "Wait, you said you would pay $100,000!" Kerry replied with " You didn't say that I served in Vietnam, so its only 20% of $100,000 now".
Remember, Friends don't let friends play Reborn!
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| Kerry is a saint? [message #115250] |
Fri, 17 September 2004 17:59 |
AlostSOul
Messages: 101
Registered: August 2004
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Recruit |
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You forgot to add "If you vote for me, I'll give you your own personal Nodbugger!!".
the only thing I can say is this: ROFL!!!!
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| Kerry is a saint? [message #115330] |
Sat, 18 September 2004 08:23 |
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SuperFlyingEngi
Messages: 1756
Registered: November 2003
Karma: 0
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General (1 Star) |
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| Crimson |
You should add MURDERER to Teddy Kennedy's record...
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Ted Kennedy was involved in a car accident.
They aren't the same thing.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." -- Theodore Roosevelt (1918)
"The danger to political dissent is acute where the Government attempts to act under so vague a concept as the power to protect "domestic security." Given the difficulty of defining the domestic security interest, the danger of abuse in acting to protect that interest becomes apparent. --U.S. Supreme Court decision (407 U.S. 297 (1972)
The Liberal Media At Work
An objective look at media partisanship
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| Kerry is a saint? [message #115351] |
Sat, 18 September 2004 11:40 |
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Crimson
Messages: 7429
Registered: February 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Karma: 0
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General (5 Stars)
ADMINISTRATOR |
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LOL!!!
So if I get drunk and drive my car off a bridge, then leave you inside the car, make a half-assed attempt to rescue you an hour later, then go to my hotel room and wait for the car to be discovered the next morning, that's an accident? I have read all the stories about what happened, and Teddy Kennedy should be in prison for murder.
I'm the bawss.
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