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WARNING ABOUT AOL'ers [message #-971805]

Tue, 30 April 2002 12:56

Anonymous

You Might Be Addicted To AOL If...
Tech Support calls You for help.
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
you have met over 100 AOLers
you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the room
you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
your dog leaves you
you have to ask what year it is
you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours
you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
your buddy list has over 100 people on it
you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen
you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
you don't know where the time has gone
you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
you type faster than you think
you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
you dream in text
being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
you double click your tv remote
you can now type over 70 wpm
you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
you go into withdrawls during dinner
you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you "just wanted to see who's on"
you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their s/n